CNN iReport

My name is Sandra Hamrick and my world has been turned upside down.  My husband passed away in July 2008 while waiting on a liver transplant.  My husband did not have Life Insurance or a will ,but, he left me and our son his business (Trim Carpentry) that had been established for 20 years.  Because of the Economy we had to close the business.  We have no money whatsoever and are having to file bankruptcy on our 2 houses and 2 vehicles.  I have not worked for 9 years (homemaker)and had everything I could have wanted and now nothing.  I cannot find a job because I am 59 years old and there are no jobs.  My son cannot find a job and we have no place to go when the bankruptcy is filed.  My son is bipolar and we are about to lose his health insurance and therefore his meds. We will be living under a bridge and I'm scared to death!  I know there are so many people worse off than we are but it doesn't feel that way.  If I could get a job I could save at least 1 house because I could pay for it and save my son from becoming hospitalized.  I have not been able to grieve for my husband and my brother.  Did I mention that my brother whom I took care of for 7 years because he had severe head injury died 12 hours apart on the same day?

I do not sleep, don't usually fall asleep untill 4-6am and only sleep a couple of hours.  Everything is going to be turned off because I have reached the 90days limit and it is very cold in Atlanta and I hate the cold weather!

I am trying so hard to keep a positive outlook and say to my son that when you have lemons you make lemonade but what if you don't have water to put in it cause it was turned off?

I'm so scared, I promised my husband I would take care of our son and I feel that I am letting him down.  I feel so alone and desperate and afraid and am so tired of the collection calls I could scream.  I'm all alone after 35years being with the love of my life and my very best friend in the whole world.  It sucks so bad!

Sandra Hamrick