CNN iReport

Conservatives, meet your leaders.

After nearly running the country into the ground through eight long years of failed ideology, greed, corruption and warmongering, the conservatives where finally kicked out of power, suffering humiliating losses in the last two elections.

Having lost all support from moderates, the tattered remnants of the conservative movement and the Republican party is now down to it's ideological nucleus. These are the absolute zealots of the movement. At their head, their newly found god Jabba The Rush Limbaugh, who has single handedly appointed himself Deity In Chief of the Real America.

All conservatives, under penalty of horrors untold, must come before and worship Jabba the Rush. Any criticism of his rants and raves is considered high blasphemy and subject to immediate and brutal retribution.

Some conservatives have accused the Obama Administration with elevating Rush to this new position. The reasoned response to that would be that the ease with which the movement coalesced around Jabba The Rush only means that Democrats simply pointed out the obvious.

Jabba the Rush has stated over and again his desire that the Obama policies fail, knowing that this would mean that America would suffer immensely as a consequence. What Jabba the Rush can't admit is that the only way his vile, fat, drug and corruption ridden ideology can only look good if EVERYTHING else was more horrible.

Good luck with that, Jabba the Rush, and good luck with your new leaders, conservative zealots.