CNN iReport

I was as independent as they come. I was always the toughest kid on the block, I could beat up anybody through sixth grade anyway when I was only in 5th.  I mellowed out alot though after my Dad died.

But I was always the bravest, youngest and coolest - likely in my own head, right?  I always surfed the biggest waves, had the cutest girlfriends and could give a flyin what anyone ever thought about me.

In high school I could have had any girl I wanted but I was always looking way beyond, way deeper.  Next year went to France to pursue my passion for art.  My mother set me up with Sorbonne U in Paris to ground me, but my sites were not on formal education, instead I imagined living in the countryside somewhere and meeting a master artist who I could study under.    However I wasn't that into the relatively rigorous schedule and almost ran away.  I ended up doing the time to finish that first year though.

Shorlty after, I renounced the world, moved into an ashram and dedicated my life - no drugs, alcohol, sex... forever.  I was very keen to merge into GOD, and made decent headway.  That lifestyle lasted several years.  That passion remains!

I hardly ever dated and I am no where close to gay!  Any girl who became my girlfriend was usually the result of her coming onto me.

I ended up going back to college several years later and got my business degree when I was 29.  Now I was older and out of synch with the younger crowd and had grown apart from friends.In a way, I think I was probably perceived as uncool and I was the older guy now.  No prob though, I extracted knowledge and info and made some new friends. I never let much bother me.

I tried living with a girl and her daughter which lasted for almost four years.  I bought a gold ringband at one point because I felt I should, but I never got anywhere close to presenting it.  I left her and she sued me - it was worse than a divorce.

At 40 I was going to live on the opposite side of the planet.  I was going to Mauritius for six months and told my girlfriend at the time, you are welcome to come with but I am going.  She lasted about half the time, left early because she was jealous, always imagining I was secretly going with someone else. 100% of it was in her head though.

After about six months of living on the beach there (1999), taking care of business from afar, surfing and meditating alot, for the first time in my life is when I had my first breakthrough, not about marriage, but a deep feeling that I had reached a sort of bottom.  For the first time in my life I started to feel lonely and that I wanted someone in my life to share with.

In Mauritius I was as far away from California as you could get, I often felt like I had died and I would reflect on friends and family almost in a past tense and felt feelings like I wish I had shared more with them. And if I would see them again, I would do this or say that.  It takes three days to get to Mauritius from the US and there are zero Americans there.  At one point I went to Argentina and that took three days to get there and back to Mauritius.

People used to say, "you're not married?", and i would reply "I'm only 40!"  I never once viewed marriage as a goal.  I knew if ever I was trully in love, all else would follow.

About six months after I returned from Mauritius, I met my wife.  At that time I was living in a small pad up in the mountains nearby.  I met her in a sushi bar where I tagged along with my brother who was going to meet his girlfriend.  His girlfriend had a tag along too.  When we arrived, SHE was sitting down talking to the waiter and the chair across from her was free.  So, I took it and I remember so well just anticipating when she would finish talking to that waiter (or waitress?).

We started talking and it turns out we had lived in the same house in Topanga, albeit a couple of years apart, had lived down the street from eachother, I had worked for her uncle, knew her sister somewhat, graduated from the same school - all this even though she was originally from NY and me LA - she came here for college.  Bascially, we had been following eachother all over the place for years.  Even, she taught my niece in preschool and had been over to their house.

On my way home from sushi that first night, I remember my voice skipping a pitch to a high when talking about her with my brother.

We dated, we totally fell in deep everlasting love.  We married barely a year later.  We just celebrated our 8th Anniversay last week with our two girls, ages 2 and 5.  Named our first daughter Grace because that is what she felt like.  Named our second Allie because Grace had a secret friend while Momma was pregnant who she told us was named Allie.

Tears come to my eyes as I write this because I am so happy and love my wife and life and girls so much.

Tim

P.S. There is no guarantee that anyone will find their true love.  It is a gift.