CNN iReport

INDY'S CORNER - September 8, 2009

President Barack Obama today announced a new top-level cabinet position: the Office of Pre-Reviewing Every Little Thing the Leader of the Free World Does With a Fine Tooth Comb, to appease Americans who obsessively hunt for the Evil Hidden Communist Agenda in the administration's every word or deed.

"It's very sad that it's come to this," the President said, "but we can't do the important work of addressing the many serious problems facing our great nation, problems that have compounded due to twenty years of neglect, while we have to spend all our time defending ourselves from crude fearmongering."

"We wanted to come up with a 'Czar' title for the new position, but, you know, some people would put a different spin on that," Obama added.  "We can't even use 'Czar' without some nincompoop talking head screaming 'Communist,' and getting millions of people fired up over nothing."

Critics immediately charged that the new office is both a domestic spying program and propoganda factory in disguise, a charge certainly not helped by Obama's consideration of former insurance industry lobbyist Joey "The Prince" Goebbels to head the department.  Demonstrations have been planned across the country.