Living in Exile
We think of most refugees as being from places like Chad, or
Rwanda, or Haiti. But there are thousands from the USA. From
Oregon. From Maine. From Texas. From your neighborhood.....seeking
refuge abroad because we are not permitted to live their with our
partner of a different nationality. Thus we, too, are refugees.
My name is Wade. It's a good and typical southern name common
in Louisiana where I was born. . But I'm not your good typical
southern boy...no, I'm an exile, a refugee, because I cannot marry
my partner of the same sex.
I left the USA for Buenos Aires eight years ago in order to
be with my life partner. I spent five years living and struggling
in Argentina, experiencing a whole economic and governmental
collapse in 2001. I said goodbye to my family, my friends, and
everything I owned. I said goodbye to my country. Eight years later
my partner and I are finally recognized--but not by the US Federal
government--by the German government where we are now
living--instead.
I am thrilled about the legalizaion of gay marriage in
California. In fact, this is where I grew up. But I still cannot
come home, because a marriage in California is not federally
recognized, and I still do not have the same rights as
heterosexuals. How many of us are there, how many American men and
women are liviing around the world in order to be with the one who
we love?
The USA is the supposed land of liberty, the land of the
free. "With liberty and justice for all" is what I was taught in
school in Prunedale, California. What they didn't teach me as a kid
is that it is liberty and justice for all "except homosexuals."
America is fallen behind much of the westernized world when
it comes to the recognition of same-sex marriages. Ironic, because
in so many ways the country is the most progressive on the planet.
It was all too recent that "African Americans" used to have
to sit in the back of the bus. This would be unheard of today.
Forty years from now, same sex marriage probably won't even be a
doubt in anyone's mind. But forty years from now is a little bit
late for me. It would be nice to come home soon, with my partner.
When the most populous state in the union makes a decision like
this, it is time for the rest of the country to follow suit. Next
step: Federal recognition of all equal rights for all US citizens!
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