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New School Year, Same Old Drunken Frat Boys
FABER, Pennsylvania - The usually tranquil beginning to the fall
semester on this picturesque East Coast college campus was marred
by the alcohol-fueled antics of members of its Greek system. Faber
College Dean Vernon Wormer was forced to place the Delta Tau Chi
fraternity on "double secret probation". Offenses prompting this
action include house members dropping a whole truckload of fizzies
into the swim meet, delivering the medical school cadavers to the
alumni dinner, filling the trees with underwear every Halloween and
making the toilets explode every spring. When asked for his
reaction to the disciplinary action, Delta President Robert Hoover
had only one word to say, "Toga!"
In response to assignment: Back to school, now and then
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