CNN iReport

From the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES, Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Professionals Choosing BlackBerry Over Spouse

by Mary Wisniewski, staff reporter

How much do tech-addicted workers love their PDAs? Let's count the ways.

A new survey found that about 35 percent of professionals would pick their PDAs over their spouses if they had to choose.

A surprising 87 percent take their personal digital assistants into their bedrooms, and 84 percent check them just before going to bed and as soon as they wake up, according to a work-life survey from Sheraton Hotels & Resorts. Another 85 percent say they look at their PDAs in the middle of the night.

Dr. Sam R. Hamburg, a psychologist and marital therapist, said he has a client who can't get his wife's attention because she's always looking at her BlackBerry. Hamburg said this is just a new spin on the old problem of spouses not paying enough attention to each other.

"When Ralph Kramden or Archie Bunker was sitting in the chair behind his newspaper, it was the same thing, just lower tech," said Hamburg. "People have to actually make a point of turning off the TV, turning off the radio, and sitting opposite each other at the kitchen table and taking the time to talk. There's no substitute for doing that."

Dr. Domeena Renshaw, professor of psychiatry at Loyola University Stritch School of Medicine, recommends that people put their BlackBerries away for a weekend and see how it affects their relationships.

"If they can't manage without it, and they get a withdrawal similar to drugs, they should seek counseling," said Renshaw, who specializes in marital and sexual issues.

Naperville marital therapist Tim Sutherland thinks part of the problem is that in this economy, people feel more pressure to please their bosses and their clients, and PDAs make it easy to bring the work home. According to the Sheraton survey, 85 percent of professionals felt that because of modern technology, they feel compelled to work 24/7.

Also, some people find the workplace can be a more comfortable, less conflict-filled place to be than at home, Sutherland said.

"I think people are finding work more as a kind of a break from the challenges of being in a marriage, of being a parent," Sutherland said.

Crazy Cueball commentary: If you could meet my wife, Daisy (pictured above), then it would become painfully obvious why I prefer to snuggle with my iPhone.